It sucks when someone tells you that you can’t do something no matter how hard you try. You don’t listen to them, you try and try and you may prove them wrong and succeed, but what if that isn’t the case? What if you know that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you will never be able to accomplish it. Knowing that you’ve set an unattainable goal for yourself before realising that it’s unattainable is a crushing feeling. You started off down the road with youthful enthusiasm and eventually reduce yourself to a lump of mass whose futile actions just barely help it survive. That’s what happens when your dreams are crushed. This year alone, I’ve had to let go of two dreams. One was set by me a very long time ago, and the other just sort of naturally came about but was nothing short of wonderful. I don’t really know what’s worse, a dream crushed because it almost seemed like it was destined to be crushed or a dream crushed by your own hand. You can make all the excuses you want, you can say things like “I was confused” or “this is a first for me, you can’t expect me to not make any mistakes”. Life is cruel, you can make a big mistake and it wouldn’t carry any repercussions with it, but at the same time,you can make the silliest error and ruin your entire life. Something as small as saying yes or no to and idea carries such great weight with us 20 – somethings because those decision steer our course in life. One rash or reckless decision can lead to a lifetime of dealing with those consequences or..if you’re not suited to handle things well, regret.
What I’m trying to say is..don’t ignore what’s right in front of you, be it a physical manifestation of an underlying problem or a mental issue that you haven’t dealt with, if you do, it’s going to come back and hellishly bite you in the ass. The decisions you make now decide your future and the type of person you will become, so chopping up the reasons for your decisions to being “young and reckless” isn’t going to cut it now. Take time, sort yourself out, realise what’s there to accomplish, and accomplish it.